The Dealer Playbook
The Dealer Playbook

Episode · 1 year ago

How To Cultivate A Positive Mindset w/ David Long

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

It's easier to be negative than it is to be positive. Having a positive mindset requires discipline. It requires you to reframe the lens by which you see the world, and that's not an overnight process. 

That's probably why those with a negative bias far outnumber those who have cultivated a positive mindset -- who see an opportunity in every circumstance. 

David Long shares his best advice on how to cultivate and maintain a positive mindset. It's important for individuals and leaders within the dealership to learn how to do this. For leaders, it's a must. "How can they give something they don't have?"

Unlike those with a negative bias, dealerships with a positive culture will far outperform those who can't see the potential in themselves or their people. 

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Connect with Michael Cirillo:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelcirillo 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michaelcirillo 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelcirillo 

Website: https://www.thedealerplaybook.com 

...mhm. How in your experience Does one cultivate a positive mindset and is there a different, like first of all, is there a difference between in your opinion, positivity and happiness and if so what? Mhm, mm hmm. Nobody's ever asked me that question that way. Well, I don't think one can be happy without being positive and I couldn't imagine being positive without being happy interesting. So I think they're almost one and the same interesting. And so how do you cultivate this is really where I want...

...to go is how do you cultivate positivity? I mean when you look at the the auto industry on mass, if we just if we were left to our devices and could only see what we see in the facebook groups or perhaps some of the drama, the conference or whatever happens. Sure. There is a growing number of individuals who understand the importance of positivity who are working really hard on this, but there is still such a large base that has this negative bias that where if they were cyber attacked and wild fired and having to furlough everyone and then experience to change with that. Maybe they're holding themselves to the standard of pre pandemic and they're disappointed that they can't achieve that now and they don't like the way the pivots feel or the way progress feels like. How does one cultivate an attitude of positivity? So, you know, I didn't share, but while that was all going on in 2020, I had five deaths in my immediate family as well. So it was just, you know, it was just one thing after another. But how does one cultivate that or how does a...

...leader get their team to focus on that? There's two different good point. Let's start with, let's start with the leader as an individual cultivating for themselves and then perhaps talk about how do they then transition that or convey that to a team? Fair. I think it's it's hard to give away something you don't have, right? So if you're not able to cultivate positive. So for me and you've been so transparent, all the episodes I've ever watched, you've always talked about, you had some, you know, some things that you've dealt with and you and I share that in common. I've never shared that with you, but um and I don't want this to be a trigger alert, but if you've never been to the place of having um being completely um so depressed that you can't get up in the morning, you can't get out of bed. You feel like you're better off not being here if you've never had those feelings. Um I think it might be hard to really relate at this people of...

A level, but because I've been there and I'm not there anymore. I have this unshakable faith. Um, and this ability to stay positive because it's not what it once was. But I can I can assure you just like the physical body atrophies, if you don't use it, the emotional happiness and positivity mindset. Atrophies, if you don't use it, the differences muscles, I think I have memory. Well, I know they do must physical muscles have memory. So, like if I used to work out hard, if I start working out my muscles have memory, they'll come right back. I don't think that's the same with attitude and outlook. I think it's a much slipper slippery or slope with attitude outlook and positivity. I think for me anyway, it requires daily deposits in order for me to keep a solid upbeat frame of mind that puts the narrative on life happening for me and not to me, right, there's a significant difference...

...between, oh, maybe this isn't optimal, but it's happening for me. It's gonna help me get where I'm going. Um, and that frame of mind doesn't come free. It requires for me anyway, it requires a tremendous amount of daily effort. Can you bring us inside? So do you have a routine that you follow? Are there certain exercises and things that you do as you're willing to share? Yeah. So it's the first thing I do every morning. So you can't see this and hopefully nobody, but every single morning I get up and I'm not an overly religious guy, Michael, but I start my morning on my knees. And I all I simply just say, please, uh, and my please is to be the best version of me I can be to impact people to leave people better than I found them. To help people that are suffering and be able to pay complete attention to people's needs expressed and unexpressed. So that's my morning prayer from my knees. From there I go...

...right to journal Journal. Every morning I write down all the things that I'm incredibly grateful for. I write down the blessings that are coming to me and then I go right into my meditation. I love, I'm doing Wim Hof Now. I don't know if anybody knows what that is, But I love starting my day with a YouTube video that's 11 minutes long from a guy named Wim Hoff. There's a beginner version and then there's an experience version sets up my whole day. I go right from that to work out after my workout, I hit the sauna and after my sauna, I am ready to go. And by the way, all that's done by six a.m. Because my day starts at six. Um, and, and that's how I feel, what I call my emotional tool and when I fill it that way and I feel it that way, five days week minimum. Um, I'm ready to go, I'm armed and ready. Does that answer your question? I hope so. That's my hack. It does. And I'm taking notes. And what I think is interesting is seeing some parallels to my morning, right? Morning...

...prayer, gratitude journaling and or like just getting stuff out of my head. Like gratitude seems to run through it now. Um, but, but you know, also taking time to be like, hey, I'm waking up with this thought and I just needed to not be in my brain anymore and I need to get it out. Um, is part of that. The exercise I think is so, so crucial. I don't think a lot of people, I certainly didn't, by the way, at the peak of my depression, I was like, it was like £255, which is not Good for a 5' 7 Italian, like, like they were like, what do you want to? So what are you preparing to play penguin in the next batman movie? Like, what are you doing? Um you know, now that I'm on this side of losing, you know, a ton of weight...

...exercising regularly. It's shocking to me how big of an impact exercise movement has in my ability to make better decisions, to work throughout the day, stay focused and something I had never realized when I was, you know, slurpee monday, Wednesday, friday, blizzard, Tuesday, thursday, saturday, you know what I mean? So, I think that's tremendous. So now you are working on self, you're filling your bucket, you're making deposits. You're feeling a certain way. You're in a frame of mind. I love how you said life. You're really in a position to be the victor, not the victim, right? You said life happens for me, not to me. Um how do you find now with going back to where we started where everybody on...

...your team, you've got hundreds of people working for you that you have stewardship for who are in different emotional states, who have different needs. How do you both foster a culture of positivity for them as individuals and as a team? Okay, so I'm gonna use my son as an example. I know we're talking about my team, but this bleeds right over my son. My son. Yeah, he is. He's definitely the team. My son and my daughters. And one of the things that I learned as being a parent, right? I think I parent better than I do anything. At least I hope I do. Um, is that everybody has that gene or that part of their makeup that makes them a little self absorbed. How do I look today? How do I sound today? What do people think of me? And I think that's especially heightened when you're going to school and you're a preteen or a...

...teenager. So, um, one of the ways that I know I can feel better about me is when I'm not thinking about me, right? When I'm out actively pursuing how I can fill someone else's emotional needs, I find that I'm not consumed with me, which then I'm not worried about how do I sound, how do I look? How did I act, what they think and I'm more about how can I serve. So I started this at a really young age for my daughters and my son. Like their mission. They are on a mission when they go to work or go to school rather is to find somebody that looks like they need something like they have a hole in their soul. Like they have um, an emotional wound like they don't fit in. They don't belong. They look fearful, they look apprehensive, They look sad and to go fill that person up and what I found by them doing that they would come home Jack to the moon. They wouldn't come home thinking about how they did or...

...what people thought about them or how they sounded or how they acted. They'd come home and said dad, I made this friend, I sat with him at lunch. He went from being really sad or she went from being sad to feeling really good. I took them a snack. I shared melon, whatever, right? And I thought, wow, if it works that good with pre teens and teenagers, how good could that work at work? Right. I know that adults have emotional pools that need filled and every single one of us, you and me and everyone we've ever met has a hole in their emotional pool. And pool is P. O. L. Write a pool of emotions that drains. And that's where the crisis of confidence comes. That's where the fear comes. That's where the anxiety comes. That's where the impending doom happens. Like. So I feel like as a team when we're out digging in trying to pour into one another and fill that emotional need, then the whole team comes together and there's a completely different vibration that we operate in. And we're not thinking about ourselves meaning we're thinking about how we're...

...gonna serve each other and do we do a perfect No, but I got to tell you this team that I have right now. Does it about as perfect as any team I've ever seen. So it's super cool. So that's the answer to that question. And that's how I see us serving each other as leaders. Uh, I think this is tremendous. It's the, there's so many different universal laws built into this. It's the law of abundance, The law of positivity, the law of compounding returns the law of appreciation. Like just how you know the whole pay it forward thing, how everything like it just resonates with me on such a deep level. We certainly experience this in our organization, which I'm with you. There is something so exhilarating about seeing everyone care for each other knowing full well that as they lift others, they will be lifted. I just think it's so tremendous and it really is a message that I wish, I wish...

...the next dealer conference only focused on this kind of stuff. Yeah, maybe it's, maybe it's yours in mind to put together, let's do it. You heard it here first folks think about this, here's our mantra here and you're gonna like this from the car perspective, it's caring drives us hmm. Um, and I think for the most part we live true to that mantra, caring drives us. So the filter, we press everything through isn't caring and will push us for will drive us forward. If it's not caring, it's not gonna drive us forward. We probably shouldn't be saying it doing or thinking it. So I'm Michel Cirillo and you've been listening to the dealer Playbook podcast. If you haven't yet, please click the subscribe button wherever...

...you're listening right now, leave a rating or review and share it with a colleague. If you're ready to make big changes in your life and career and want to connect with positive, nurturing automotive professionals, join my exclusive DPB pro community on facebook. That's where we share information, ideas and content that isn't shared anywhere else. I can't wait to meet you there. Thanks for listening. Mhm.

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