The Dealer Playbook
The Dealer Playbook

Episode · 3 months ago

How To Cultivate A Positive Mindset w/ David Long

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

It's easier to be negative than it is to be positive. Having a positive mindset requires discipline. It requires you to reframe the lens by which you see the world, and that's not an overnight process. 

That's probably why those with a negative bias far outnumber those who have cultivated a positive mindset -- who see an opportunity in every circumstance. 

David Long shares his best advice on how to cultivate and maintain a positive mindset. It's important for individuals and leaders within the dealership to learn how to do this. For leaders, it's a must. "How can they give something they don't have?"

Unlike those with a negative bias, dealerships with a positive culture will far outperform those who can't see the potential in themselves or their people. 

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Connect with Michael Cirillo:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelcirillo 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michaelcirillo 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelcirillo 

Website: https://www.thedealerplaybook.com 

...mhm. How in your experience Does one cultivate a positive mindset and isthere a different, like first of all, is there a difference between in youropinion, positivity and happiness and if so what? Mhm, mm hmm. Nobody's ever asked me that questionthat way. Well, I don't think one can be happy without being positiveand I couldn't imagine being positive without being happy interesting. So Ithink they're almost one and the same interesting. And so how do youcultivate this is really where I want...

...to go is how do you cultivate positivity? I meanwhen you look at the the auto industry on mass, if we just if we were left toour devices and could only see what we see in the facebook groups or perhapssome of the drama, the conference or whatever happens. Sure. There is agrowing number of individuals who understand the importance of positivitywho are working really hard on this, but there is still such a large basethat has this negative bias that where if they were cyber attacked and wildfired and having to furlough everyone and then experience to change with that.Maybe they're holding themselves to the standard of pre pandemic and they'redisappointed that they can't achieve that now and they don't like the waythe pivots feel or the way progress feels like. How does one cultivate anattitude of positivity? So, you know, I didn't share, but whilethat was all going on in 2020, I had five deaths in my immediate family aswell. So it was just, you know, it was just one thing after another. But howdoes one cultivate that or how does a...

...leader get their team to focus on that?There's two different good point. Let's start with, let's start with the leaderas an individual cultivating for themselves and then perhaps talk abouthow do they then transition that or convey that to a team? Fair. I thinkit's it's hard to give away something you don't have, right? So if you're notable to cultivate positive. So for me and you've been so transparent, all theepisodes I've ever watched, you've always talked about, you had some, youknow, some things that you've dealt with and you and I share that in common.I've never shared that with you, but um and I don't want this to be a triggeralert, but if you've never been to the place of having um being completely um so depressed that you can't get upin the morning, you can't get out of bed. You feel like you're better offnot being here if you've never had those feelings. Um I think it might behard to really relate at this people of...

A level, but because I've been thereand I'm not there anymore. I have this unshakable faith. Um, and this abilityto stay positive because it's not what it once was. But I can I can assure youjust like the physical body atrophies, if you don't use it, the emotionalhappiness and positivity mindset. Atrophies, if you don't use it, thedifferences muscles, I think I have memory. Well, I know they do mustphysical muscles have memory. So, like if I used to work out hard, if I startworking out my muscles have memory, they'll come right back. I don't thinkthat's the same with attitude and outlook. I think it's a much slipperslippery or slope with attitude outlook and positivity. I think for me anyway,it requires daily deposits in order for me to keep a solid upbeat frame of mindthat puts the narrative on life happening for me and not to me, right,there's a significant difference...

...between, oh, maybe this isn't optimal,but it's happening for me. It's gonna help me get where I'm going. Um, andthat frame of mind doesn't come free. It requires for me anyway, it requiresa tremendous amount of daily effort. Can you bring us inside? So do you havea routine that you follow? Are there certain exercises and things that youdo as you're willing to share? Yeah. So it's the first thing I do every morning.So you can't see this and hopefully nobody, but every single morning I getup and I'm not an overly religious guy, Michael, but I start my morning on myknees. And I all I simply just say, please, uh, and my please is to be thebest version of me I can be to impact people to leave people better than Ifound them. To help people that are suffering and be able to pay completeattention to people's needs expressed and unexpressed. So that's my morningprayer from my knees. From there I go...

...right to journal Journal. Every morningI write down all the things that I'm incredibly grateful for. I write downthe blessings that are coming to me and then I go right into my meditation. Ilove, I'm doing Wim Hof Now. I don't know if anybody knows what that is, ButI love starting my day with a YouTube video that's 11 minutes long from a guynamed Wim Hoff. There's a beginner version and then there's an experienceversion sets up my whole day. I go right from that to work out after myworkout, I hit the sauna and after my sauna, I am ready to go. And by the way,all that's done by six a.m. Because my day starts at six. Um, and, and that'show I feel, what I call my emotional tool and when I fill it that way and Ifeel it that way, five days week minimum. Um, I'm ready to go, I'm armedand ready. Does that answer your question? I hope so. That's my hack. Itdoes. And I'm taking notes. And what I think is interesting is seeing someparallels to my morning, right? Morning...

...prayer, gratitude journaling and or like just getting stuff out ofmy head. Like gratitude seems to run through it now. Um, but, but you know,also taking time to be like, hey, I'm waking up with this thought and I justneeded to not be in my brain anymore and I need to get it out. Um, is partof that. The exercise I think is so, so crucial. I don't think a lot of people,I certainly didn't, by the way, at the peak of my depression, I was like, itwas like £255, which is not Good for a 5' 7 Italian, like, likethey were like, what do you want to? So what are you preparing to play penguinin the next batman movie? Like, what are you doing? Um you know, now thatI'm on this side of losing, you know, a ton of weight...

...exercising regularly. It's shocking tome how big of an impact exercise movement has in my ability to makebetter decisions, to work throughout the day, stay focused and something Ihad never realized when I was, you know, slurpee monday, Wednesday, friday,blizzard, Tuesday, thursday, saturday, you know what I mean? So, I thinkthat's tremendous. So now you are working on self, you're filling your bucket, you'remaking deposits. You're feeling a certain way. You're in a frame of mind.I love how you said life. You're really in a position to be the victor, not thevictim, right? You said life happens for me, not to me. Um how do you find now with going back towhere we started where everybody on...

...your team, you've got hundreds ofpeople working for you that you have stewardship for who are in differentemotional states, who have different needs. How do you both foster a culture of positivity for themas individuals and as a team? Okay, so I'm gonna use my son as an example. Iknow we're talking about my team, but this bleeds right over my son. My son. Yeah, he is. He's definitely the team.My son and my daughters. And one of the things that I learned as being a parent,right? I think I parent better than I do anything. At least I hope I do. Um,is that everybody has that gene or that part of their makeup that makes them alittle self absorbed. How do I look today? How do I sound today? What dopeople think of me? And I think that's especially heightened when you're goingto school and you're a preteen or a...

...teenager. So, um, one of the ways thatI know I can feel better about me is when I'm not thinking about me, right?When I'm out actively pursuing how I can fill someone else's emotional needs,I find that I'm not consumed with me, which then I'm not worried about how doI sound, how do I look? How did I act, what they think and I'm more about howcan I serve. So I started this at a really young age for my daughters andmy son. Like their mission. They are on a mission when they go to work or go toschool rather is to find somebody that looks like they need something likethey have a hole in their soul. Like they have um, an emotional wound likethey don't fit in. They don't belong. They look fearful, they lookapprehensive, They look sad and to go fill that person up and what I found bythem doing that they would come home Jack to the moon. They wouldn't comehome thinking about how they did or...

...what people thought about them or howthey sounded or how they acted. They'd come home and said dad, I made thisfriend, I sat with him at lunch. He went from being really sad or she wentfrom being sad to feeling really good. I took them a snack. I shared melon,whatever, right? And I thought, wow, if it works that good with pre teens andteenagers, how good could that work at work? Right. I know that adults haveemotional pools that need filled and every single one of us, you and me andeveryone we've ever met has a hole in their emotional pool. And pool is P. O.L. Write a pool of emotions that drains. And that's where the crisis ofconfidence comes. That's where the fear comes. That's where the anxiety comes.That's where the impending doom happens. Like. So I feel like as a team whenwe're out digging in trying to pour into one another and fill thatemotional need, then the whole team comes together and there's a completelydifferent vibration that we operate in. And we're not thinking about ourselvesmeaning we're thinking about how we're...

...gonna serve each other and do we do aperfect No, but I got to tell you this team that I have right now. Does itabout as perfect as any team I've ever seen. So it's super cool. So that's theanswer to that question. And that's how I see us serving each other as leaders.Uh, I think this is tremendous. It's the, there's so many differentuniversal laws built into this. It's the law of abundance, The law ofpositivity, the law of compounding returns the law of appreciation. Likejust how you know the whole pay it forward thing, how everything like itjust resonates with me on such a deep level. We certainly experience this inour organization, which I'm with you. There is something so exhilaratingabout seeing everyone care for each other knowing full well that as theylift others, they will be lifted. I just think it's so tremendous and itreally is a message that I wish, I wish...

...the next dealer conference only focusedon this kind of stuff. Yeah, maybe it's, maybe it's yours in mind to puttogether, let's do it. You heard it here first folks think about this,here's our mantra here and you're gonna like this from the car perspective,it's caring drives us hmm. Um, and I think for the most part we live true tothat mantra, caring drives us. So the filter, we press everything throughisn't caring and will push us for will drive us forward. If it's not caring,it's not gonna drive us forward. We probably shouldn't be saying it doingor thinking it. So I'm Michel Cirillo and you've beenlistening to the dealer Playbook podcast. If you haven't yet, pleaseclick the subscribe button wherever...

...you're listening right now, leave arating or review and share it with a colleague. If you're ready to make bigchanges in your life and career and want to connect with positive,nurturing automotive professionals, join my exclusive DPB pro community onfacebook. That's where we share information, ideas and content thatisn't shared anywhere else. I can't wait to meet you there. Thanks forlistening. Mhm.

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