The Dealer Playbook
The Dealer Playbook

Episode · 5 months ago

Steven Kuhn: The Best Way to Become an Epic Leader


Each of us is a leader. Whether we are selling cars, detailing them, or someone with a management title. The point of leadership is to help create more leaders, and in that regard, we each have a similar responsibility to demonstrate follow-worthy behavior. 

Steven Kuhn is a decorated United States Army combat veteran, speak, and author of "Unleash Your Humble Alpha: Own Your Presences in Life and Become the Epic Leader You Are Meant to Be." He helps leaders improve their quality of life through consistent, conscious application of his system H.I.T. - and joins us to share his best advice about how to up your leadership game. 

Noteworthy topics from this episode:

4:42 - How did you get into a monastery and lived with monks?

13:10 - How to create a thriving career.

17:34 - How do you break free from the daily grind and see the bigger picture?

25:12 - Tapping into something bigger than ourselves.

36:05 - When an organization needs help, is creating space where you start them off? 


This episode is proudly sponsored by our friends at Fortellis. No two dealers operate the same way which is why Fortellis provides the tools to create unique apps that help your dealership meet the needs of the market while catering to your operations. 

Not only has Fortellis created an amazing technology platform that’s designed to make life easier for dealers, but they are also pouring back into the community with events like their dealer dev day. It’s a 3-day event that empowers attendees to network with each other to create smarter, faster, and better apps for the dealer community. 

Visit to browse their marketplace of apps and integrations that will allow you to run your business, your way.

Hey gang, there are fewer things Iregret more than not investing in zoom when I had the chance. How was Isupposed to know there's gonna be a pandemic and zoom stocks would explode.Looking back 20 years from now, I don't want to have the same sinking feelingsitting on the sidelines knowing I could have jumped on another bandwagonsooner. luckily we know what the next big boom and retail automotive is andthat's why companies like four telus have provided the tools to createunique apps that will help your dealership meet the demands of themarket. You see no to dealers operate. The same way the beauty about four tellus, is that you can pick and choose the apps and workflows that help you meetthe demands of the market while catering to your operations, not onlyis foretell has created an amazing technology platform that's designed tomake life easier for dealers. They are pouring back into the community withevents like their dealer DVD. It's a three day event that empowers attendeesto network with each other to create smarter faster and better apps for thedealer community. So my beloved DPB gang, the best thing that you can doright now is visit the four telus marketplace and browse through theirgrowing library of apps and integrations that will allow you to runyour business your way, visit four telus dot io to learn more. That's fourtell us dot I O Hey gang, welcome to this episode ofthe dealer play boat, a podcast that explores what it takes to create athriving career right here in the retail auto industry. I'm your host,Michael Cirillo, joined by decorated army combat veteran steven kun. He'sgonna share the best way to become an epic leader. Here we go now. Youprobably already know this by now, but just in case you don't, leadership isnot something reserved for a specific job role or title. In fact, it's quitethe opposite. Each of us is the leader first for ourselves and then of coursethose around us, our friends, family, colleagues, co workers. And perhapsmaybe if your job role does indicate such, you have a dedicated team ofpeople who work within your tender care and stewardship, whether your car sales,professional detailer, shop worker technician or maybe the owner of thedealership, it's important as a leader to demonstrate behavior worth followingbehavior that helps create more leaders. That's why I'm excited to share thisconversation with Stephen kun. He's a decorated Army combat veteran who nowhelps leaders improve their quality of life through consistent consciousapplication of his trademark hit system. He has a remarkable and unique storyfrom combat to living and studying with monks in europe. Listen carefully asStephen shares concepts from his new book, Unleash Your humble Alpha, whichby the way, I highly recommend you read. I'm, I'm reading it and going throughit and actually hosting a book club on clubhouse with steve and lane below inthe co author. Uh, just tremendous read. So as you listen, please, I hope thatyou are listening carefully and apply the concepts you learned today into thecontext of your circumstances. So please enjoy my conversation withStephen coun, admittedly, you weren't on my radar amonth and a half ago. And then through this crazy app clubhouse, we pop up inthis room breakfast with champions, which you're lucky by the way, becauseit's not, it's like, it's got to be the afternoon for you. It's more likebrunch with it with champions of like, man, I tell you what, I've been wakingup at three am doing all sorts of crazy stuff. Um, then you pop up on my radarand as it turns out, we start chatting with each other on this back channel oninstagram direct messages. And you're hitting me up saying, man, that thingyou said about family, that's I believe...

...that. And then you'd say something, I'mlike, man, Yes. And so it's just kind of lined up that we have you on thepodcast. I love any time I get to chat with somebody who understands theimportance of the hustle and a grind, but also understands the importance offamily, focusing on what matters most. Some people call it balance. I think,you know, just priorities is probably uh, the word I would use. Um, but thenthen as we go along, there's things like I have all sorts of questionsfloating around my mind. You were a monk or you studied with monks? Did Ihear that right? Uh, after, after a um, an episode of not wanting to be on thisplanet anymore. I I was taken away into a monastery by a good friend of mine.Yes. So I lived with monks in Austria in the mountains with Benedictine monkswho, by the way, meditate chant and pray of course, but the meditation andthe chanting is what really got me and okay, well now my brains, I'munwrapping that for a minute. So because now I'm just picturing the, theopening scene from batman begins returns, Which one is it? Where he'sbasically brought up to the monks and studies with the monks. I mean, howlong were you there? Eight months? Eight months? I didn't tell anybody. Iwas there. I didn't, I didn't pay any bills, I didn't have a cell phone or alap. I literally left society for eight months and didn't even care. And youknow what happened when I came back? Everyone was still alive and no oneeven noticed that was missing. So yeah, it was it was it was a real shock toreality to what what what life actually means. Okay, well now I'm I gottagoogle now. Benedictine monks, you said Benedict clean Benedictine. So is thiswhat's their, what's their creed? Well they're christians just like any otherquestions. They just have, they have their own ST you know ST Benedict. Umso you know they follow his his teachings and his writings there. Ummost of these, most of these monasteries have a high school in themas well. So one side you have the monks and the create creativity, pardon andpraying and in the end you have like the chapel in the church and on theother side you have the school and so it's a christian school but interesting,you know, Austria is very very very, very religious wow. And so were youlike during this eight months, were you there as a student? Did you where youfeel roses where you have grown on a weird I wanted to and like no you can'tunless you actually officially registered to say you want to be a monk,you have to do a two year probation period To see if you can handle it. Andso I started talking all these monks and it turns out there's 80 monks thereand over 50 where only became monks after they were 40 years old. So a lotof these guys were like bankers that burned out. You know our marketing guysthat burned out and now this monastery to be a monk, you actually have to havea skill so they don't take every month, don't take every person once a month.So one guy's a marketing guy, one guy is a pr guy, one guy is a banker, theother guy trades forex for them and trade stocks for them. I never saw itthat way. It's actually a business and then they get vacation money every yearto go on vacation for a week, a year and they can go wherever they want toget like three grand and they can go anywhere in europe to go on vacation,it's actually a business because they all have to they have to support themonks, they have to pay for the food, they have to you know keep the churchup and the monastery up, they have an art gallery up there with some of themost beautiful paintings in Austria. And, and so christian is this likecatholic is a denominational, is they're all denominations. It's closerto catholic, I guess you could say, but it's not catholic. It's Benedictine.Huh? It's like a I guess it's like an offshoot of catholic. It's hard to say.And what was your biggest because I mean, obviously you probably had a lotof time to reflect. I mean, I'm hearing meditation chanting for eight months.What's going through your mind like? So when you're first brought their what'sgoing through your mind like where am I Or I'm writing for this? No. First time.It's like, all right, this is great. I'm gonna get answers. Right? So I walkup to the monks. Hey, I don't, I'm...

...steven, nice to meet you. What's yourname on? Sandra's? Okay, Patty Andrews. How you doing? All right. This is whatI got. I got this. Problem is problems, problems. Problem. What do you say? Andthey're like, uhh why don't you take a walk in the forest? You know, take awalk in the woods in the forest. And I'm like, well, you guys have somesigns out there with answers or what's going on here. You know, like, I waslike that like, I was a business guy came out of the corporate world, burnedout, literally done. And then like, it'll come to you, one of these guys,you know, I'm thinking like that. But as time went by, the days got longer,right? So the days got longer and longer and longer to the point where Iwas taking like five or six naps a day and it was only like six o'clock atnight. You know, it was amazing. And I was just in myself, I meditatedsometimes five or six hours a day. I would be sitting in the church becausethey had service. They had the, what's it called corda beat, which means um,the chanting prayer every morning at 5 45. So Breakfast of Champions, Right?And uh, and you would do in this little chapel that was built in the ninehundreds, in the nine hundreds and it was so small, maybe you could fit about30 people in there and the monks would go up front only about 20 and theywould start chanting on both sides and the whole room would vibrate andbecause they're using their own voices, that's usually at 432 hertz and 132hertz is the vibration of nature. So it does something to you. It really doessomething to you. And it would, it would even out my energies to the dayand man when you're meditating at those times and feeling that vibration,you're just aligning yourself with all what's good and then you you receiveGod and you receive the energy in the universe and you get the data downloadsfrom the collective consciousness and you just start becoming wise for noreason. I'm not even kidding, it's, it's like a download. And so whathappened was, is I left there um so clear and so knowing of who I was andwhat I was about and why it was on this planet. Like I, I really knew that Icouldn't go back to society just yet. So my buddy took me up into themountains and I was living there by myself in a little hut, like a hut andI only had water. I didn't even need food at that time, I was just like justliving from water and I was up there for a couple of days and people started,people heard about it. This crazy american living up in the mountains andthey started coming up And after a couple of days I had like 20 people aday just sitting around me like I was some kind of guru or whatever and I wasanswering questions which I had no business answering. but it was like adownload. I just sat there and it just was channeling through me whatever theywanted to know it was coming out and I was just like all right, I guess on thechannel I was a conduit for information for the for the, I always say theuniversal data highway or whatever, you know, and a collective consciousness. Ireally connected with it. I meditated six or eight hours a day up there. Theywould come up, they bring me food, we'd sit and chat and I'd have all theseanswers and it got to be a little crazy that I had no more piece. So I left andwent back to Berlin where I was, wow, you've you've seen me? So thoselistening, what Stephen seeing is my eyes ferociously moving around mycomputer screen as he's speaking, looking up all of this like Benedictinemonks and like I'm fascinated by this for for a variety of reasons. But if Ihad to kind of narrow it down into one thing, it's like, okay, business, finecar dealers, how to sell more cars? Fine, I get it. That's probably thebase level question that anybody has in their business. How do I get more sales?How do I grow my customer list? How do I set up my email, marketing automation?How do I become a better marketer? How to get more Youtube followers? How toget more clubhouse followers. But you know what I'm picking up on and I'm soglad I asked you this. There is something so much deeper goingon here than any of those questions or answers to those questions will giveyou satisfaction when, when you talk about frequency andtapping into nature and the fact that...

...everything's got a rhythm. And you know,I started thinking about, well, the the same things that create or or are thebuilding blocks of the known universe also are the same building blocks thatcreated that I'm made of. Therefore the universe is moving in and out of me asI am moving in and out of the universe. Who the flip cares about how to sellmore cars? Yeah, well that's the issue, isn't it? There's a lot of people thatare stuck in that world, but we can't live on this planet, in this, in thisreality, in that world. There there there there there the, what do you callthem? The, you know, the looping wu's I guess you could call because they stayin that world and they're up in the air and they're dreaming, It's amazing. Ihave no grounds so they can't earn money, They can turn living, they can'tmove forward. So they're stuck in that loop. I guess. You could say the loop,I guess. Which is easy. I could have been stuck there. I could have stayedhere forever. Well, and, and truthfully, I mean those that listen to the podcast.No, like I've been there. I get it. I know what it's like to be depressed,want to take your own life, all that kind of stuff. Not to see the biggerpicture of what's actually happening here, but but this is also where we getto explore how to create a thriving career and of course a career is just apiece of a bigger picture which is just a piece of a bigger picture, which isjust a piece of an even bigger picture. And the sooner we can realize that like,you know, people talk about Yeah, well that's fine Michael about how do wemake more money because like I need to make more money to keep my family alivebro. Money moves on a frequency. Yeah, currency like the currency, energy iscurrency and currency is energy and currency as an in the wall currency,electric currency or currency isn't money, It's all the same thing. Yeahright? It really is. And you know money true. If you look at any successfulperson, the real money, the generational wealth is a byproduct ofwhat they're doing, right? It isn't, let's focus on the money and thenreverse engineer how much money and then make no, they're doing what'sright? What's their passion? What is their purpose? Their identities alignedwith their purpose, their purposes amplifying that identity. Like Elonmusk, like everyone says, he's a genius. He has one mission. That's the populatemars. So what's he doing? He's making electric cars, like he makes electriccars. No, that's just one step towards his vision. He's making cars that hecan drive on mars, that's why he's doing it now. So he's doing what he cannow until he reaches that go. So he's got that long term vision, that mission.He's just like hell bent on making that happen. But he's not looking at theoutcome, he's looking at the intention. And so long as you focus on theintention, you're always driving forward with new ideas new, you know, anew sort of light bulbs going off in your head and he comes up with theseother ideas which still moving in that direction. So it isn't about the money,it's the money comes with the vision. The money comes with the purpose ofthis is insane. This is insane because what you just said is something that Ibelieve so deeply in and it and it, it's probably the easiest way tovisualize the bigger picture. You said, Elon musk isn't thinking about creatingself driving cars or autonomous vehicles. He's thinking about how topopulate mars and as he thinks about and pontificates and deliberates overhow to populate mars that that is his mission. His brain is inspired. Call ita download from the universe of hey, well, how am I going to get people tomars in an autonomous vehicle if they're not comfortable in anautonomous vehicle right now? Well what is the closest, like what is thequickest barrier to entry? Low cost, low barrier to entry to its to createthis awesome vehicle that everyone wants and guess what it drives itself.And when they get comfortable doing that they're going to be even morecomfortable getting into a flying vehicle and once they're comfortablegetting into a flying vehicle there in a rocket ship and they're going topopulate a different planet. Same same way I think about this Stephen, I'dlove to get your thoughts on it. Steve jobs in his, in his black turtleneck,walks up on stage and holds up a device And the world sees a device that holds40,000 songs he saw. I am almost...

...convinced of it. Okay, I've hadconversations with guy Kawasaki who was there and part of it you know like whatwhat what Apple saw was a data collection device that went into hundreds of millions ofpeople's pockets that then interfaces with your automobile that collects telemetrics data. It's a data capture device. And then what are these devicesthese devices are in my opinion, the people that you talk to their neverthought so let's bring an Apple iphone out like that's not the end of thevision. That's the beginning of the vision right? Because then they get allthis data. This phone knows how I drive. Why? Because every time I get into my F1 50 I plug it into the vehicle so I can get card play. What a convenientthing. No, this thing knows where I go, how I go, what my driving habits are.So then what do they do? They announced a car, like they're moving towards abigger picture. And I often think like, okay, in business though, we're movingin 30 day cycles month, open month close, how do I sell more cars? How doI get more customers? How do I get more leads? That's the one that I was, I wasin, that was in that grind, was in that grind. Not with cars, but we, I I had,we had 87 health clubs in nine countries, wow. All you do is sellmemberships every day, every month, month to month to month, month, youknow, so it's easy for you to be like, all I do for a living is sellmemberships to my clubs. How do you break free from that? How do we see thebigger picture? Oh, I, what I did is, well, I'm, you know, I was all the wayup, so I worked my way up actually, started up, but I worked my higher anduh I ended up looking at the team's, how I can amplify their team, how canwe align the vision and the purpose of the company with each personal visionand purpose of each of one of the employees. And how do I create aculture in there where there's high creativity, where I'm not coming upwith the ideas, but they are high cohesion within the teams and very lowconflict and so I would, you know, I was, I had 87 locations, so I Iliterally had all of these places that I could try different things out andover the years, I honed out a very successful way to do what I was doingand it turned out to be, you know, to this day, they still use my systems andI left there to 2014, you know, and it's just, it's, and I was selfemployed to it by was a self employed director. So it was like, I wasn't evenan employee and uh, and so it was all about aligning, like, you know, firstof all, you gotta be clear with yourself. So that's, that's what thebooks about. Only tremble outfits about being clear with yourself. Who am Ireally, what's my identity not? What do I do or what's my position? You know,you, you hear people say, you know who I am, I'm the ceo okay, well that'swhat you do. Who are you really, most people can't say, right? So we find outwho you are that that crystallizes more or less your purpose. You can usuallyfind your purpose much clear when you realize who you are, what you're about,right? What's your juice in life? What turns you on kind of thing? And onceyou have that, everything you do after that amplifies your identity, right? Soyour identity is that which is coming out in the front, not your title andnot what you do. And that's why so many people who exit from their company whoare changing positions or get out of the military for instance or are nolonger a police officer there in a hole because their whole identity was thatofficer that uniform, that badge and a gun. That position that feeling thatfeeling of the greater purpose, the greater mission. And so they lose allthat. And that's what this book is about. That's also what our program isabout. We have an invite only program where we invite leaders who just exitedor pivoted To come into our program and we work with these guys is really hard.We have 55 levels and the first one is activate, right? So, you know, weactivate the true identity so you know who you are and how you interact in theworld. And then we have unleash unleash your purpose in life, know what you doin the world that makes you feel alive. And here comes the really cool partthat's in power, create space and elevate all those within your lifeenterprise. So all can step into their greatness because when all those aroundyou step into their greatness, they're elevating you as you are elevating them.You know, all ships rise or at the tide...

...or whatever the saying is, I'm not verygood at those sayings, but you know, you know, and then we have momentum,amplify your purpose by igniting the fire within others with partnershipsand investing in relational capital. Now in igniting the fire with others iswhere the team comes in. So we actually talk about, how do I implement thisinto my team? How do I line their visions and missions with the company'svisions and missions so that we have a trajectory like no other because let'sface it, culture follows action so you can have nice writings on the wall andcredos and everything else. But if the leaders aren't acting according to the,to those, to those true cultures that they have put in place, the team is notgoing to act, Right? So these are the things that I would bring in the place.And of course the last step we talk about is quality of life. And if youever watch any video, I've done, I've done 600 and 598 episodes of the dailypurge. You know, it's like a three minute video on Facebook. And at theend I say, and remember it's all about quality of life. You know, that'sthat's what it's, that's what everybody wants, right? That's what everybodywants. And quality of life is fully enjoying every moment of your life, nomatter what you're doing. And that is the mission of our book. That's what Ilearned in the monastery coming out and being aware of what I was doing. And asa matter of fact, Michael, let me tell you this. When I left the monastery,went back to Berlin and I got a call from my old corporation where I hadleft, I was homeless by the way at that time. And I had, you know, because Ididn't pay any bills, right? So I don't have anything. I didn't, I literallywent back and the world was still there and they didn't put me in jail and youknow, and I got a call from the corporation said, hey, we got a job foryou. I'm like, oh no, no, I'm never going back to that world. And they saidit's a three month gig in Budapest's and something said, go, all right, gogo to Budapest, I'm like, okay, three months. So I literally asked for triplethe money and they said, okay, okay, I'm going and I went First nameBudapest in my whole life, 1st day in the company that I was taking over toturn around, I did turn around consulting, I just still do walked in.The first person I saw was this beautiful woman and I said to myself,that's my wife, like I knew it, I was so aligned with the universe. I walkedin and like holy that's my, like I saw my whole future with her. Like Likethat that was 12 years ago, were married, have two kids and I'm stillhere. You know, that's what alignment does. That's what letting go of the howof the, what is out there? How am I gonna get they're gonna make that money,gonna make it happen as soon as I let go from that, What other sam supposedto do what I'm supposed to look how I'm supposed to act. I'm supposed to walkwhat I'm supposed to dress. You know? They had the seven series BMW and I hadall the nice suits bespoke from London Savile Row and all this Bs had theBlack Amex, you know, But I was overweight, hated myself, hated my life.My first marriage went on the rocks because of that. And I went tomonastery after a crash and almost killed myself, not auto crashed, I hadcrashed and burned in life and then I tried to kill myself and then I thatdidn't happen. So I went to the monastery and I came out and said neveragain. And I knew that connection that I had to the world around me was moreimportant than anything I could personally do on my own. And that'swhen I made it a mission to empower teams to the point where they literallyrun the company and I'm just like a pinball machine, the bumpers on apinball machine. I'm just keeping them in that, in that field of play andthat's it. And that's how I championed that company. It's like the Matrix.We'll tell you what that attitude that I talked about. We talked aboutcreating space in the empower face and creating space is the most powerfulthing anyone can learn if you take anything away from this podcast, thisis what this is what you should take away. And I'm and I'm dead seriousabout this creating spaces when you come up to a meeting to a podcast, to akeynote speech, whatever it is, you drop all expectations, you drop allpreconceived notions and all cookie cutter solutions. You show up whollyand fully with one intention and that is to create value right? By solvingproblems typically is away and what that means is you don't worry about theoutcome because you can't control the...

...outcome, you can only control theintention. So if you let go the outcome, there's no pressure. And what happensis you have a space around each other and any conversation you have and youset it up this way consciously before you go in, I always say take everythingout of your head and put in the tool box beside you. If you need it, you canget it out but don't use it unless you absolutely have to and you show up inthat create that space and every time mastermind, boom, third entity comes up,you come up with solutions and ideas and that you've never would have comeup with on your own. I mean I've been I've been invited to places where I'mgiving advice to european politicians about american, you know, domesticpolicy and I'm like, I don't know anything about this, but it doesn'tmatter. I don't need to, you know why? Because they know that I know andbecause they know that I know I just let it happen. You just tap into the tothe universal data highway. I know it sounds funny, but when we let go andstop trying to look at the outcome. They want an answer. What do they wantto hear? How do they want to hear it? What should I say? You drop all of that?You say? You know what? I have the answer. I know I have the answer. It'sout there. Bring it to me. Yeah I know it sounds it sounds funny but you knowwhat like constantly we've all had experiences like this. If you thinkdeeply enough we've all had experiences where it seems like we tapped intosomething bigger than ourselves and all of a sudden just gotta download. Iremember that the first time that happened for me so clearly. Um So I'mtrained guitarist. I'm classically trained guitarist guitar. Yeah classicguitar. Because I I managed you know Andrea Bocelli crazy. Andrea Bocelli,his two classic guitarist History. Classic guitarists are my very goodfriends and they're the ones who taught me about four or 432 hurts. Theirguitars are tuned to 432 100 hertz when they play get tears you get movedmovement in your body movement. Sorry guys. So yeah that now that's crazy. UmSo I was driving home one day all of my sisters play the piano. Um Um but I wasdriving home one day I think I was 17 years old and I had two weeks of piano lessonswhen I was five. You know the the that's sort of a thing. I'm drivinghome and I've got this tune in my head and it's moving me and it feels realand I feel like I can play it. I'm not kidding you man. I walked through thefront doors of my house into our recreation room, sat down at the pianoand started playing this thing going like, how the crap am I doing this? Mydad who worked in in, in our home office, he's here in this and it's moving him.So he rushes into the rec room. I think Michael, I thought that was Katie. Howlong have you been playing the piano for? Like, he's shocked. I'm shocked.I'm like seven minutes. But I'm playing something I was, I was not able to doprior was do the two handed playing two hands playing, you know, and all of asudden you played after, could you play after? Since then? I've played aftersince then. And people to this day like, so I'm, I wouldn't say I'm perfectpitch, but I'm at a point where if you put a song down in front of me, I willfigure it out and five minutes or less. That's crazy because a lot of peoplethat have those sort of situations, they lose it after that moment, when,when, once they go conscious, no, once they start thinking about it and, and,and that's transferred to other instruments. Bass drums, wow, I'm at apoint now it sounds really kind of facetious or kind of douchebag ary, butlike I can pick up any instrument now, essentially, there hasn't been onewhere I haven't been able to pick it up and within 10 minutes or so, kind offigure out the concept of that place. Something Yeah, my, my buddy Tony newyork's like that. He literally plays every instrument. He skis, hesnowboards, he climbs in ice mountains, this guy, like you name it, he does it,it was the same way the second time I experienced this was in the Philippines,I did mission work for my church, went to the Philippines, had to learn thelanguage. I kid you not man. Something...

...happened in the mission Training Centerwhere they're trying to teach you the basics of the language where alllanguage rules left my brain. I'm like, I don't even freaking know what anadjective is right now. How am I going to do this to the degree of getting tothe Philippines and, and feeling like I could do it. And a flip switch to mybrain where I wasn't just talking about bible stuff and hey, can I help youwith your chickens? I was going down and talking to the fishermen about thematerials he was using to weave his nets and what kind of like, uh,something unlocked in my brain. And so when you're saying this, it doesn'tsound far fetched to me. I know each of us have the ability to tap into this,it didn't unlock in your brain. It let your brain go, it left your brain.That's the whole point when, when we keep it logic, we cannot were that'sconstraints. Same thing happened to me in paris. I'm sitting there, I was onmy own and I, I used to fly around and be by myself and I love to go to pariswhen it was just beautiful. You hear the music and I was just smoking to goto law cigarette with some red wine and I'm sitting there and the waiter comesup and I, you know, I ordered yada yada Yadi and he comes back with this and Iasked some questions and I'm like petit francais, like you speak french andhe's like, you speak french. I'm like, I don't speak french because you justordered everything in France in french. I was like, what I did, like, I don'teven realize it because I was so into it, I had let go and absorb the entireculture. I loved it so much there that I was speaking french, but when I triedto do it and that's the key word, try either you do or you don't and tryingmeans you're blocking yourself with your brain. I know it's, it's, I'm nota scientist or you know, Jamie Wheel type kind of guy, which I was, but youknow, it's not that's not who I am, but I know what happens and like you said,you went through it as well and you know, just believing that and knowingthat it exists allows you to keep doing it over and over and over and itbecomes part of you. And so I've been able to master answering any questionI've been able to add to adding value to any situation and knowing that nomatter who I'm sitting in front of and believe me, I've sat in an upset infront of royalty and world leaders and I always have an answer for notnecessarily my answer, but it's an an answer from somewhere I always, I nevermiss. It's crazy, but I don't think about it. I just let it roll. Like herecomes, how do you get I stay like this? I say like this were like goldfish,right, refill the space were given, you put a goldfish in a fishbowl, he'llstay an inch long, you put them in a lake, I'll get like a foot right, likea foot long. So we will fill the space given when we let go of trying to fillthe space, you know? So now from your position becoming a humble alpha as asyou say it, I mean I can only anticipate that thisalpha concept comes from what you've said several times, like stepping intoyour greatness. How did you go from experiencing this kind of stuff? Likejust unleashing, unlocking right? How did you go from that to then being ableto essentially make it a process for other people to follow? Like how do youstep into an organization? Because I know there are leaders and managersquestion Yeah, the first person ever asking the question really, it'samazing. Well, I'll tell you it wasn't easy because the people would ask meall the time, How do you do that? I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, I just do itbecause I, I literally walked up to make jagger and in five minutes I had ajob with him Andrea Bocelli same thing and Olivia, newton, john same thing. Ijust did it right. And people like, how do you do that? I'm like, I don't know,I just walk up there and I could never really get to it. Then I came up with alittle process called hit honesty, integrity, transparency and my nicknamewas the hit man for a while, which I think any guy would sort of dig right?And you know, I was training that in the corporate world that went overreally well, but it was only a piece of the pie. And then I met lane below myco author and he's like, dude, man, you got to get this stuff out man. We gottalike how so like I wrote my first book in Germany, we just went through aninterview process. So I got a bunch of people to interview me and him and wewere starting to hash this out. So through it took us a year to write thisbook because we had to decode our lives, turns out Lane lives very, very similarto the way I live And he's only 32 and which is amazing cause he's so far likeadvanced for his age and we ended up writing it all down. And what happenedwas now I can exactly articulate how I... what and that's where all these allthese things like investing in relation capital life, enterprise, creatingspace, you know, and all those different things that we use, there'sacronyms we use in the book. And now my power is even more because I have thatbasis of articulation. So our next book, we're writing through suchconversations as this. So I'm gonna listen to this and hear what I saiddifferently than before. We're gonna add that to the book. Because everytime you build a foundation, you build upon that you're unleashing more andyou're on, you know, unlocking more knowledge. You're building upon whatyou already have. So it's gonna be humble off to or whatever. But it's nota book. Honestly, it's not a book, it's a guide. Every chapter is a story, thelesson from that story and the exact steps of what to do, not how to do it,of what to do to unleash your own personal alpha, unleash your ownpersonal humble alpha, whatever it is that you want to want to, at leastwhatever you have inside of you. And remember the humble on the outside, thealpha is on the inside, right? So that's why it's a humble after yourhumble on the outside, Alfa on the inside, and you have thispresence that's amplified through your purpose and people just magnetized you, Youknow how it is. Someone walks into a room, your back's turned, you feel themcome in, right? Yeah. That's that's sort of what I'm talking about. It's anundeniable presence. It's called, we call it owning your presence. I've beenman, my mind is exploding. You know, I'vewalked into rooms before where they've, they've hired me to travel across thepond to give her to deliver a keynote on marketing. And I walk into the roomand I go, there are people in this room that are depressed and wondering whythey still exist and I changed my keynote on the spot. Yeah. And thenafterwards the leaders of this, whoever put the event together, they'd be like, whoa, you hit the nail on the head andand you worry for a minute because you're like, well they hired me tospeak about marketing, but I just gave them a mental health, cultureleadership. You deserve to be here. We need you. We love you kind of aconversation and the leaders go, you hit the nail on the head. That'sexactly why. You know, and it's because I sensed when I came into the room andyou weren't preconceived again, you walk. Like I said, that's why it's soimportant to create that space when you walk into any room, whether it's akeynote or just us two here on the podcast or with your wife even. I meanlike the hardest thing that I've ever done as far as creating space was doingit with my wife and we had an argument, right? Because I cannot dictate in anyway her responses. I don't I don't want to manipulate or say you did this orblame or something. So having to talk to my wife like I talked to all myclients, right? It was really difficult, but I let go of thinking that it wasdifficult and I created space and we had the most amazing conversation thatwe've ever had in 13 years and the whole time I was blocking my my, youknow, my own way with my own wife and we're so tight now because of that. Sheunderstands me so much better because of that. You know, it's like thiscreating space. We call it that I don't know. It could be called something else.You know, I don't know. But that's what we call it, creating space. You justhave no expectations, man, You show up holding fully and see what creates getscreated from the power of the both of you or the group of you or whatever andyou know, speech is perfect. Me too. I walk up there. I got like bullet points.I may or may not use them. Yeah. You know the only keynote I ever did that,they said you have to speak about this. It was horrible. You know, it was likeI was on, I had like flash cards. It was horrible. But I added my own sortof twist to it. I saved it at the end. Yeah, I'm the same way. Oh you need,you need a slide deck. Oh no, I can't do a slide deck man. I just gotta rollum is creating space. Let me ask you this. So you walk into an organization.I mean there's leaders listening to this podcast, salespeople, alldifferent departments in inside of a business and they're listening to thisand they go, well what's the starting...

...point? Because we always hear itsleadership sets the weather, right? Um when you walk into an organization andthey need help with this is creating space where you start people off. Noit's not. You know when when you walk into so creating space, all thesethings, we're talking about, his culture, culture has a long ramp stage,right? And then you can talk about structural change, structural changecan be literally structural, physical, or it can be like, okay you're workinghere instead of there now and now these are the new S. O PS, right? So you Ialways start with structural change because that will give a clearindication everybody, oh something happened. So that's sort of like aknock on their subconscious saying, okay, something's changing, thenthey're more open for the culture change than they would be. If I justwalk in and start saying let's create space because like what the hell justget talking about right, so I'll go in, I'll literally go in and where thebosses are sitting and the staff is sitting, I'll switch them up and I'llclear this before and like if I'm gonna do this for you guys, you guys let medo what I want to do, anything goes, I'm like okay do it and then I'll havethem like flip the desk around so they're facing each other, sittingbeside someone, they don't know, painting office, clean the office sothat when you come in there was like I don't remember where I sit, this is alldifferent. Yeah exactly so it's sort of like a disruption just like youwouldn't and facebook ad right right, you know disrupt disrupt them, disrupttheir everyday. Then you go in and we gotta look at this, it all starts withthe leaders. So the first thing I do is talk to the leaders and we have a deepdiscussion and we go through the activate and unleashed stages of thehumble Alpha. This book, by the way, our book only Trouble Alpha is used bycoach is literally the book like there's no handouts or not literallythey take the book and they read out of the book with their clients. Number one,number two, it's recently been turned into a uh, leadership certificateprogram out of college and now I can't say who but a leading M. B. A. InAmerica just picked it up as for the curriculum further courses and anothertwo leading universities in the United States are picking it up and in the UKthere picking it up as a part of their curriculum for credit hours in businessprogramming. That's how powerful this book is. And there's it's all about theperson, how do I get to myself? My best version of myself as a leader wereleaders 24 7 man. We don't have weekends off, you know? And the litmustest is this I always say the leaders, hey when you go home and one of youremployees were on the dining room table as a fly on the wall, would theyrecognize you? Are you the same person and vice versa? If your wife comes intothe office or your husband, are they gonna recognize you? And most of themlike no, you know you're talking about balance at the beginning of the show,right? It's about integration brother. It's not, you know, like you saidbalance doesn't exist. It's about integration. You're not too, but youcan't balance your working life because you're not too different people. Yougotta integrate everything right? So how do you how do you integrate yourtime for your family, how to integrate for your time for time for your staffto get them to the point where you are. So you start with yourself. You alignyourself, activate unleash and empower. Then you go out into the same thingwith your staff, align the mission and the vision of themselves with themission and the vision and the purpose of the company. And you have a teamthat will crush the competition without even worrying about how much money wemake and the outcome. You know how are we gonna get there Because we know thatthrough the certainty and the procedures that we have in place thatthe outcome will be favorable period. Unreal. How we do it Unreal. You know Ilove this. It resonates so deeply with me. Um It's it's the path that I'vechosen as a leader. I've had people and this is their words, not mine, but I'vehad people come to me. I remember we were on kind of a intercompany retreat.We have the kind of a partner's retreat. And so they brought their employees, Ibrought my employees, you know, we all got together, we're having brainstormsessions, all this kind of fun stuff. But in the evenings obviously I didn'thave to stay in the Airbnb. I live here. So I go back home. I remember that thelast day one of the leaders of the other companies pulled me aside and hesaid how did you do it? I said how do I do what after you left my team went outdrinking and partying and this and that. Your team. He said I'm not gonna lie. They went tothe liquor store, they picked up some beers. It's their own time. That's fine,he said, But when I asked them why they...

...chose to do that over go and get drunkand do that and all this kind of stuff and act like fools. one of them says Iwould lay down on train tracks for Michael. Uh huh. So he said, how didyou do that? And so for everybody listening, you need to get a copy ofthe humble Alpha if you want to learn the secret to how this all works. Ijust met Stephen a month ago, month and a bit ago. I have not read the book,but everything that he's saying resonates so deeply that I am going tobe buying a book, not just for me, but for everybody on my team, I want you toget a copy of this because if you're wondering, I get asked this all thetime, how do you create such loyal people? How do you have people sobought in? How do we create that level of buying? Well, just speaking to youman, I know that they need to get a copy of the book. So let me ask you,where do they get this book? They can go to humble Alpha book dot com andjust download a free excerpt or buy it right there from that site on onaudible on kindle or paperback. Amazing man, it's all right there. How canthose listening get in touch with you? Um you know, I'm on facebook, umUnleash ramble Alpha, you google that you'll find me somewhere. Um you know,if there's someone that actually wants to contact me for the humble Alphaprogram for leaders that are pivoting. Um just my email address is Stephenwith the Eugene coon at gmail dot com. Pretty simple actually. My whole namesteven Eugene coming at gmail dot com. If you google my name, you'll find theright spelling. What does that mean? It will also link to all of that in theshow notes over at triple W dot the dealer playbook dot com forward slashStephen dash kun. K U H N. My man. Thanks so much for joining me on thedealer play with podcast. Great pleasure, my friend. Thank you forhaving me. I'm Michel Cirillo and you've beenlistening to the dealer playbook podcast. If you haven't yet, pleaseclick the subscribe button wherever you're listening right now, leave arating or review and share it with a colleague. If you're ready to make bigchanges in your life and career and want to connect with positive nurturingautomotive professionals, join my exclusive DPB Pro community on facebook.That's where we share information, ideas and content that isn't sharedanywhere else. I can't wait to meet you there. Thanks for listening. Mm.

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