The Dealer Playbook
The Dealer Playbook

Episode · 1 year ago

Steven Kuhn: The Best Way to Become an Epic Leader


Each of us is a leader. Whether we are selling cars, detailing them, or someone with a management title. The point of leadership is to help create more leaders, and in that regard, we each have a similar responsibility to demonstrate follow-worthy behavior. 

Steven Kuhn is a decorated United States Army combat veteran, speak, and author of "Unleash Your Humble Alpha: Own Your Presences in Life and Become the Epic Leader You Are Meant to Be." He helps leaders improve their quality of life through consistent, conscious application of his system H.I.T. - and joins us to share his best advice about how to up your leadership game. 

Noteworthy topics from this episode:

4:42 - How did you get into a monastery and lived with monks?

13:10 - How to create a thriving career.

17:34 - How do you break free from the daily grind and see the bigger picture?

25:12 - Tapping into something bigger than ourselves.

36:05 - When an organization needs help, is creating space where you start them off? 


This episode is proudly sponsored by our friends at Fortellis. No two dealers operate the same way which is why Fortellis provides the tools to create unique apps that help your dealership meet the needs of the market while catering to your operations. 

Not only has Fortellis created an amazing technology platform that’s designed to make life easier for dealers, but they are also pouring back into the community with events like their dealer dev day. It’s a 3-day event that empowers attendees to network with each other to create smarter, faster, and better apps for the dealer community. 

Visit to browse their marketplace of apps and integrations that will allow you to run your business, your way.

Hey gang, there are fewer things I regret more than not investing in zoom when I had the chance. How was I supposed to know there's gonna be a pandemic and zoom stocks would explode. Looking back 20 years from now, I don't want to have the same sinking feeling sitting on the sidelines knowing I could have jumped on another bandwagon sooner. luckily we know what the next big boom and retail automotive is and that's why companies like four telus have provided the tools to create unique apps that will help your dealership meet the demands of the market. You see no to dealers operate. The same way the beauty about four tell us, is that you can pick and choose the apps and workflows that help you meet the demands of the market while catering to your operations, not only is foretell has created an amazing technology platform that's designed to make life easier for dealers. They are pouring back into the community with events like their dealer DVD. It's a three day event that empowers attendees to network with each other to create smarter faster and better apps for the dealer community. So my beloved DPB gang, the best thing that you can do right now is visit the four telus marketplace and browse through their growing library of apps and integrations that will allow you to run your business your way, visit four telus dot io to learn more. That's four tell us dot I O Hey gang, welcome to this episode of the dealer play boat, a podcast that explores what it takes to create a thriving career right here in the retail auto industry. I'm your host, Michael Cirillo, joined by decorated army combat veteran steven kun. He's gonna share the best way to become an epic leader. Here we go now. You probably already know this by now, but just in case you don't, leadership is not something reserved for a specific job role or title. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Each of us is the leader first for ourselves and then of course those around us, our friends, family, colleagues, co workers. And perhaps maybe if your job role does indicate such, you have a dedicated team of people who work within your tender care and stewardship, whether your car sales, professional detailer, shop worker technician or maybe the owner of the dealership, it's important as a leader to demonstrate behavior worth following behavior that helps create more leaders. That's why I'm excited to share this conversation with Stephen kun. He's a decorated Army combat veteran who now helps leaders improve their quality of life through consistent conscious application of his trademark hit system. He has a remarkable and unique story from combat to living and studying with monks in europe. Listen carefully as Stephen shares concepts from his new book, Unleash Your humble Alpha, which by the way, I highly recommend you read. I'm, I'm reading it and going through it and actually hosting a book club on clubhouse with steve and lane below in the co author. Uh, just tremendous read. So as you listen, please, I hope that you are listening carefully and apply the concepts you learned today into the context of your circumstances. So please enjoy my conversation with Stephen coun, admittedly, you weren't on my radar a month and a half ago. And then through this crazy app clubhouse, we pop up in this room breakfast with champions, which you're lucky by the way, because it's not, it's like, it's got to be the afternoon for you. It's more like brunch with it with champions of like, man, I tell you what, I've been waking up at three am doing all sorts of crazy stuff. Um, then you pop up on my radar and as it turns out, we start chatting with each other on this back channel on instagram direct messages. And you're hitting me up saying, man, that thing you said about family, that's I believe...

...that. And then you'd say something, I'm like, man, Yes. And so it's just kind of lined up that we have you on the podcast. I love any time I get to chat with somebody who understands the importance of the hustle and a grind, but also understands the importance of family, focusing on what matters most. Some people call it balance. I think, you know, just priorities is probably uh, the word I would use. Um, but then then as we go along, there's things like I have all sorts of questions floating around my mind. You were a monk or you studied with monks? Did I hear that right? Uh, after, after a um, an episode of not wanting to be on this planet anymore. I I was taken away into a monastery by a good friend of mine. Yes. So I lived with monks in Austria in the mountains with Benedictine monks who, by the way, meditate chant and pray of course, but the meditation and the chanting is what really got me and okay, well now my brains, I'm unwrapping that for a minute. So because now I'm just picturing the, the opening scene from batman begins returns, Which one is it? Where he's basically brought up to the monks and studies with the monks. I mean, how long were you there? Eight months? Eight months? I didn't tell anybody. I was there. I didn't, I didn't pay any bills, I didn't have a cell phone or a lap. I literally left society for eight months and didn't even care. And you know what happened when I came back? Everyone was still alive and no one even noticed that was missing. So yeah, it was it was it was a real shock to reality to what what what life actually means. Okay, well now I'm I gotta google now. Benedictine monks, you said Benedict clean Benedictine. So is this what's their, what's their creed? Well they're christians just like any other questions. They just have, they have their own ST you know ST Benedict. Um so you know they follow his his teachings and his writings there. Um most of these, most of these monasteries have a high school in them as well. So one side you have the monks and the create creativity, pardon and praying and in the end you have like the chapel in the church and on the other side you have the school and so it's a christian school but interesting, you know, Austria is very very very, very religious wow. And so were you like during this eight months, were you there as a student? Did you where you feel roses where you have grown on a weird I wanted to and like no you can't unless you actually officially registered to say you want to be a monk, you have to do a two year probation period To see if you can handle it. And so I started talking all these monks and it turns out there's 80 monks there and over 50 where only became monks after they were 40 years old. So a lot of these guys were like bankers that burned out. You know our marketing guys that burned out and now this monastery to be a monk, you actually have to have a skill so they don't take every month, don't take every person once a month. So one guy's a marketing guy, one guy is a pr guy, one guy is a banker, the other guy trades forex for them and trade stocks for them. I never saw it that way. It's actually a business and then they get vacation money every year to go on vacation for a week, a year and they can go wherever they want to get like three grand and they can go anywhere in europe to go on vacation, it's actually a business because they all have to they have to support the monks, they have to pay for the food, they have to you know keep the church up and the monastery up, they have an art gallery up there with some of the most beautiful paintings in Austria. And, and so christian is this like catholic is a denominational, is they're all denominations. It's closer to catholic, I guess you could say, but it's not catholic. It's Benedictine. Huh? It's like a I guess it's like an offshoot of catholic. It's hard to say. And what was your biggest because I mean, obviously you probably had a lot of time to reflect. I mean, I'm hearing meditation chanting for eight months. What's going through your mind like? So when you're first brought their what's going through your mind like where am I Or I'm writing for this? No. First time. It's like, all right, this is great. I'm gonna get answers. Right? So I walk up to the monks. Hey, I don't, I'm...

...steven, nice to meet you. What's your name on? Sandra's? Okay, Patty Andrews. How you doing? All right. This is what I got. I got this. Problem is problems, problems. Problem. What do you say? And they're like, uhh why don't you take a walk in the forest? You know, take a walk in the woods in the forest. And I'm like, well, you guys have some signs out there with answers or what's going on here. You know, like, I was like that like, I was a business guy came out of the corporate world, burned out, literally done. And then like, it'll come to you, one of these guys, you know, I'm thinking like that. But as time went by, the days got longer, right? So the days got longer and longer and longer to the point where I was taking like five or six naps a day and it was only like six o'clock at night. You know, it was amazing. And I was just in myself, I meditated sometimes five or six hours a day. I would be sitting in the church because they had service. They had the, what's it called corda beat, which means um, the chanting prayer every morning at 5 45. So Breakfast of Champions, Right? And uh, and you would do in this little chapel that was built in the nine hundreds, in the nine hundreds and it was so small, maybe you could fit about 30 people in there and the monks would go up front only about 20 and they would start chanting on both sides and the whole room would vibrate and because they're using their own voices, that's usually at 432 hertz and 132 hertz is the vibration of nature. So it does something to you. It really does something to you. And it would, it would even out my energies to the day and man when you're meditating at those times and feeling that vibration, you're just aligning yourself with all what's good and then you you receive God and you receive the energy in the universe and you get the data downloads from the collective consciousness and you just start becoming wise for no reason. I'm not even kidding, it's, it's like a download. And so what happened was, is I left there um so clear and so knowing of who I was and what I was about and why it was on this planet. Like I, I really knew that I couldn't go back to society just yet. So my buddy took me up into the mountains and I was living there by myself in a little hut, like a hut and I only had water. I didn't even need food at that time, I was just like just living from water and I was up there for a couple of days and people started, people heard about it. This crazy american living up in the mountains and they started coming up And after a couple of days I had like 20 people a day just sitting around me like I was some kind of guru or whatever and I was answering questions which I had no business answering. but it was like a download. I just sat there and it just was channeling through me whatever they wanted to know it was coming out and I was just like all right, I guess on the channel I was a conduit for information for the for the, I always say the universal data highway or whatever, you know, and a collective consciousness. I really connected with it. I meditated six or eight hours a day up there. They would come up, they bring me food, we'd sit and chat and I'd have all these answers and it got to be a little crazy that I had no more piece. So I left and went back to Berlin where I was, wow, you've you've seen me? So those listening, what Stephen seeing is my eyes ferociously moving around my computer screen as he's speaking, looking up all of this like Benedictine monks and like I'm fascinated by this for for a variety of reasons. But if I had to kind of narrow it down into one thing, it's like, okay, business, fine car dealers, how to sell more cars? Fine, I get it. That's probably the base level question that anybody has in their business. How do I get more sales? How do I grow my customer list? How do I set up my email, marketing automation? How do I become a better marketer? How to get more Youtube followers? How to get more clubhouse followers. But you know what I'm picking up on and I'm so glad I asked you this. There is something so much deeper going on here than any of those questions or answers to those questions will give you satisfaction when, when you talk about frequency and tapping into nature and the fact that...

...everything's got a rhythm. And you know, I started thinking about, well, the the same things that create or or are the building blocks of the known universe also are the same building blocks that created that I'm made of. Therefore the universe is moving in and out of me as I am moving in and out of the universe. Who the flip cares about how to sell more cars? Yeah, well that's the issue, isn't it? There's a lot of people that are stuck in that world, but we can't live on this planet, in this, in this reality, in that world. There there there there there the, what do you call them? The, you know, the looping wu's I guess you could call because they stay in that world and they're up in the air and they're dreaming, It's amazing. I have no grounds so they can't earn money, They can turn living, they can't move forward. So they're stuck in that loop. I guess. You could say the loop, I guess. Which is easy. I could have been stuck there. I could have stayed here forever. Well, and, and truthfully, I mean those that listen to the podcast. No, like I've been there. I get it. I know what it's like to be depressed, want to take your own life, all that kind of stuff. Not to see the bigger picture of what's actually happening here, but but this is also where we get to explore how to create a thriving career and of course a career is just a piece of a bigger picture which is just a piece of a bigger picture, which is just a piece of an even bigger picture. And the sooner we can realize that like, you know, people talk about Yeah, well that's fine Michael about how do we make more money because like I need to make more money to keep my family alive bro. Money moves on a frequency. Yeah, currency like the currency, energy is currency and currency is energy and currency as an in the wall currency, electric currency or currency isn't money, It's all the same thing. Yeah right? It really is. And you know money true. If you look at any successful person, the real money, the generational wealth is a byproduct of what they're doing, right? It isn't, let's focus on the money and then reverse engineer how much money and then make no, they're doing what's right? What's their passion? What is their purpose? Their identities aligned with their purpose, their purposes amplifying that identity. Like Elon musk, like everyone says, he's a genius. He has one mission. That's the populate mars. So what's he doing? He's making electric cars, like he makes electric cars. No, that's just one step towards his vision. He's making cars that he can drive on mars, that's why he's doing it now. So he's doing what he can now until he reaches that go. So he's got that long term vision, that mission. He's just like hell bent on making that happen. But he's not looking at the outcome, he's looking at the intention. And so long as you focus on the intention, you're always driving forward with new ideas new, you know, a new sort of light bulbs going off in your head and he comes up with these other ideas which still moving in that direction. So it isn't about the money, it's the money comes with the vision. The money comes with the purpose of this is insane. This is insane because what you just said is something that I believe so deeply in and it and it, it's probably the easiest way to visualize the bigger picture. You said, Elon musk isn't thinking about creating self driving cars or autonomous vehicles. He's thinking about how to populate mars and as he thinks about and pontificates and deliberates over how to populate mars that that is his mission. His brain is inspired. Call it a download from the universe of hey, well, how am I going to get people to mars in an autonomous vehicle if they're not comfortable in an autonomous vehicle right now? Well what is the closest, like what is the quickest barrier to entry? Low cost, low barrier to entry to its to create this awesome vehicle that everyone wants and guess what it drives itself. And when they get comfortable doing that they're going to be even more comfortable getting into a flying vehicle and once they're comfortable getting into a flying vehicle there in a rocket ship and they're going to populate a different planet. Same same way I think about this Stephen, I'd love to get your thoughts on it. Steve jobs in his, in his black turtleneck, walks up on stage and holds up a device And the world sees a device that holds 40,000 songs he saw. I am almost...

...convinced of it. Okay, I've had conversations with guy Kawasaki who was there and part of it you know like what what what Apple saw was a data collection device that went into hundreds of millions of people's pockets that then interfaces with your automobile that collects tele metrics data. It's a data capture device. And then what are these devices these devices are in my opinion, the people that you talk to their never thought so let's bring an Apple iphone out like that's not the end of the vision. That's the beginning of the vision right? Because then they get all this data. This phone knows how I drive. Why? Because every time I get into my F 1 50 I plug it into the vehicle so I can get card play. What a convenient thing. No, this thing knows where I go, how I go, what my driving habits are. So then what do they do? They announced a car, like they're moving towards a bigger picture. And I often think like, okay, in business though, we're moving in 30 day cycles month, open month close, how do I sell more cars? How do I get more customers? How do I get more leads? That's the one that I was, I was in, that was in that grind, was in that grind. Not with cars, but we, I I had, we had 87 health clubs in nine countries, wow. All you do is sell memberships every day, every month, month to month to month, month, you know, so it's easy for you to be like, all I do for a living is sell memberships to my clubs. How do you break free from that? How do we see the bigger picture? Oh, I, what I did is, well, I'm, you know, I was all the way up, so I worked my way up actually, started up, but I worked my higher and uh I ended up looking at the team's, how I can amplify their team, how can we align the vision and the purpose of the company with each personal vision and purpose of each of one of the employees. And how do I create a culture in there where there's high creativity, where I'm not coming up with the ideas, but they are high cohesion within the teams and very low conflict and so I would, you know, I was, I had 87 locations, so I I literally had all of these places that I could try different things out and over the years, I honed out a very successful way to do what I was doing and it turned out to be, you know, to this day, they still use my systems and I left there to 2014, you know, and it's just, it's, and I was self employed to it by was a self employed director. So it was like, I wasn't even an employee and uh, and so it was all about aligning, like, you know, first of all, you gotta be clear with yourself. So that's, that's what the books about. Only tremble outfits about being clear with yourself. Who am I really, what's my identity not? What do I do or what's my position? You know, you, you hear people say, you know who I am, I'm the ceo okay, well that's what you do. Who are you really, most people can't say, right? So we find out who you are that that crystallizes more or less your purpose. You can usually find your purpose much clear when you realize who you are, what you're about, right? What's your juice in life? What turns you on kind of thing? And once you have that, everything you do after that amplifies your identity, right? So your identity is that which is coming out in the front, not your title and not what you do. And that's why so many people who exit from their company who are changing positions or get out of the military for instance or are no longer a police officer there in a hole because their whole identity was that officer that uniform, that badge and a gun. That position that feeling that feeling of the greater purpose, the greater mission. And so they lose all that. And that's what this book is about. That's also what our program is about. We have an invite only program where we invite leaders who just exited or pivoted To come into our program and we work with these guys is really hard. We have 55 levels and the first one is activate, right? So, you know, we activate the true identity so you know who you are and how you interact in the world. And then we have unleash unleash your purpose in life, know what you do in the world that makes you feel alive. And here comes the really cool part that's in power, create space and elevate all those within your life enterprise. So all can step into their greatness because when all those around you step into their greatness, they're elevating you as you are elevating them. You know, all ships rise or at the tide...

...or whatever the saying is, I'm not very good at those sayings, but you know, you know, and then we have momentum, amplify your purpose by igniting the fire within others with partnerships and investing in relational capital. Now in igniting the fire with others is where the team comes in. So we actually talk about, how do I implement this into my team? How do I line their visions and missions with the company's visions and missions so that we have a trajectory like no other because let's face it, culture follows action so you can have nice writings on the wall and credos and everything else. But if the leaders aren't acting according to the, to those, to those true cultures that they have put in place, the team is not going to act, Right? So these are the things that I would bring in the place. And of course the last step we talk about is quality of life. And if you ever watch any video, I've done, I've done 600 and 598 episodes of the daily purge. You know, it's like a three minute video on Facebook. And at the end I say, and remember it's all about quality of life. You know, that's that's what it's, that's what everybody wants, right? That's what everybody wants. And quality of life is fully enjoying every moment of your life, no matter what you're doing. And that is the mission of our book. That's what I learned in the monastery coming out and being aware of what I was doing. And as a matter of fact, Michael, let me tell you this. When I left the monastery, went back to Berlin and I got a call from my old corporation where I had left, I was homeless by the way at that time. And I had, you know, because I didn't pay any bills, right? So I don't have anything. I didn't, I literally went back and the world was still there and they didn't put me in jail and you know, and I got a call from the corporation said, hey, we got a job for you. I'm like, oh no, no, I'm never going back to that world. And they said it's a three month gig in Budapest's and something said, go, all right, go go to Budapest, I'm like, okay, three months. So I literally asked for triple the money and they said, okay, okay, I'm going and I went First name Budapest in my whole life, 1st day in the company that I was taking over to turn around, I did turn around consulting, I just still do walked in. The first person I saw was this beautiful woman and I said to myself, that's my wife, like I knew it, I was so aligned with the universe. I walked in and like holy that's my, like I saw my whole future with her. Like Like that that was 12 years ago, were married, have two kids and I'm still here. You know, that's what alignment does. That's what letting go of the how of the, what is out there? How am I gonna get they're gonna make that money, gonna make it happen as soon as I let go from that, What other sam supposed to do what I'm supposed to look how I'm supposed to act. I'm supposed to walk what I'm supposed to dress. You know? They had the seven series BMW and I had all the nice suits bespoke from London Savile Row and all this Bs had the Black Amex, you know, But I was overweight, hated myself, hated my life. My first marriage went on the rocks because of that. And I went to monastery after a crash and almost killed myself, not auto crashed, I had crashed and burned in life and then I tried to kill myself and then I that didn't happen. So I went to the monastery and I came out and said never again. And I knew that connection that I had to the world around me was more important than anything I could personally do on my own. And that's when I made it a mission to empower teams to the point where they literally run the company and I'm just like a pinball machine, the bumpers on a pinball machine. I'm just keeping them in that, in that field of play and that's it. And that's how I championed that company. It's like the Matrix. We'll tell you what that attitude that I talked about. We talked about creating space in the empower face and creating space is the most powerful thing anyone can learn if you take anything away from this podcast, this is what this is what you should take away. And I'm and I'm dead serious about this creating spaces when you come up to a meeting to a podcast, to a keynote speech, whatever it is, you drop all expectations, you drop all preconceived notions and all cookie cutter solutions. You show up wholly and fully with one intention and that is to create value right? By solving problems typically is away and what that means is you don't worry about the outcome because you can't control the...

...outcome, you can only control the intention. So if you let go the outcome, there's no pressure. And what happens is you have a space around each other and any conversation you have and you set it up this way consciously before you go in, I always say take everything out of your head and put in the tool box beside you. If you need it, you can get it out but don't use it unless you absolutely have to and you show up in that create that space and every time mastermind, boom, third entity comes up, you come up with solutions and ideas and that you've never would have come up with on your own. I mean I've been I've been invited to places where I'm giving advice to european politicians about american, you know, domestic policy and I'm like, I don't know anything about this, but it doesn't matter. I don't need to, you know why? Because they know that I know and because they know that I know I just let it happen. You just tap into the to the universal data highway. I know it sounds funny, but when we let go and stop trying to look at the outcome. They want an answer. What do they want to hear? How do they want to hear it? What should I say? You drop all of that? You say? You know what? I have the answer. I know I have the answer. It's out there. Bring it to me. Yeah I know it sounds it sounds funny but you know what like constantly we've all had experiences like this. If you think deeply enough we've all had experiences where it seems like we tapped into something bigger than ourselves and all of a sudden just gotta download. I remember that the first time that happened for me so clearly. Um So I'm trained guitarist. I'm classically trained guitarist guitar. Yeah classic guitar. Because I I managed you know Andrea Bocelli crazy. Andrea Bocelli, his two classic guitarist History. Classic guitarists are my very good friends and they're the ones who taught me about four or 432 hurts. Their guitars are tuned to 432 100 hertz when they play get tears you get moved movement in your body movement. Sorry guys. So yeah that now that's crazy. Um So I was driving home one day all of my sisters play the piano. Um Um but I was driving home one day I think I was 17 years old and I had two weeks of piano lessons when I was five. You know the the that's sort of a thing. I'm driving home and I've got this tune in my head and it's moving me and it feels real and I feel like I can play it. I'm not kidding you man. I walked through the front doors of my house into our recreation room, sat down at the piano and started playing this thing going like, how the crap am I doing this? My dad who worked in in, in our home office, he's here in this and it's moving him. So he rushes into the rec room. I think Michael, I thought that was Katie. How long have you been playing the piano for? Like, he's shocked. I'm shocked. I'm like seven minutes. But I'm playing something I was, I was not able to do prior was do the two handed playing two hands playing, you know, and all of a sudden you played after, could you play after? Since then? I've played after since then. And people to this day like, so I'm, I wouldn't say I'm perfect pitch, but I'm at a point where if you put a song down in front of me, I will figure it out and five minutes or less. That's crazy because a lot of people that have those sort of situations, they lose it after that moment, when, when, once they go conscious, no, once they start thinking about it and, and, and that's transferred to other instruments. Bass drums, wow, I'm at a point now it sounds really kind of facetious or kind of douchebag ary, but like I can pick up any instrument now, essentially, there hasn't been one where I haven't been able to pick it up and within 10 minutes or so, kind of figure out the concept of that place. Something Yeah, my, my buddy Tony new york's like that. He literally plays every instrument. He skis, he snowboards, he climbs in ice mountains, this guy, like you name it, he does it, it was the same way the second time I experienced this was in the Philippines, I did mission work for my church, went to the Philippines, had to learn the language. I kid you not man. Something...

...happened in the mission Training Center where they're trying to teach you the basics of the language where all language rules left my brain. I'm like, I don't even freaking know what an adjective is right now. How am I going to do this to the degree of getting to the Philippines and, and feeling like I could do it. And a flip switch to my brain where I wasn't just talking about bible stuff and hey, can I help you with your chickens? I was going down and talking to the fishermen about the materials he was using to weave his nets and what kind of like, uh, something unlocked in my brain. And so when you're saying this, it doesn't sound far fetched to me. I know each of us have the ability to tap into this, it didn't unlock in your brain. It let your brain go, it left your brain. That's the whole point when, when we keep it logic, we cannot were that's constraints. Same thing happened to me in paris. I'm sitting there, I was on my own and I, I used to fly around and be by myself and I love to go to paris when it was just beautiful. You hear the music and I was just smoking to go to law cigarette with some red wine and I'm sitting there and the waiter comes up and I, you know, I ordered yada yada Yadi and he comes back with this and I asked some questions and I'm like petit francais, like you speak french and he's like, you speak french. I'm like, I don't speak french because you just ordered everything in France in french. I was like, what I did, like, I don't even realize it because I was so into it, I had let go and absorb the entire culture. I loved it so much there that I was speaking french, but when I tried to do it and that's the key word, try either you do or you don't and trying means you're blocking yourself with your brain. I know it's, it's, I'm not a scientist or you know, Jamie Wheel type kind of guy, which I was, but you know, it's not that's not who I am, but I know what happens and like you said, you went through it as well and you know, just believing that and knowing that it exists allows you to keep doing it over and over and over and it becomes part of you. And so I've been able to master answering any question I've been able to add to adding value to any situation and knowing that no matter who I'm sitting in front of and believe me, I've sat in an upset in front of royalty and world leaders and I always have an answer for not necessarily my answer, but it's an an answer from somewhere I always, I never miss. It's crazy, but I don't think about it. I just let it roll. Like here comes, how do you get I stay like this? I say like this were like goldfish, right, refill the space were given, you put a goldfish in a fishbowl, he'll stay an inch long, you put them in a lake, I'll get like a foot right, like a foot long. So we will fill the space given when we let go of trying to fill the space, you know? So now from your position becoming a humble alpha as as you say it, I mean I can only anticipate that this alpha concept comes from what you've said several times, like stepping into your greatness. How did you go from experiencing this kind of stuff? Like just unleashing, unlocking right? How did you go from that to then being able to essentially make it a process for other people to follow? Like how do you step into an organization? Because I know there are leaders and managers question Yeah, the first person ever asking the question really, it's amazing. Well, I'll tell you it wasn't easy because the people would ask me all the time, How do you do that? I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, I just do it because I, I literally walked up to make jagger and in five minutes I had a job with him Andrea Bocelli same thing and Olivia, newton, john same thing. I just did it right. And people like, how do you do that? I'm like, I don't know, I just walk up there and I could never really get to it. Then I came up with a little process called hit honesty, integrity, transparency and my nickname was the hit man for a while, which I think any guy would sort of dig right? And you know, I was training that in the corporate world that went over really well, but it was only a piece of the pie. And then I met lane below my co author and he's like, dude, man, you got to get this stuff out man. We gotta like how so like I wrote my first book in Germany, we just went through an interview process. So I got a bunch of people to interview me and him and we were starting to hash this out. So through it took us a year to write this book because we had to decode our lives, turns out Lane lives very, very similar to the way I live And he's only 32 and which is amazing cause he's so far like advanced for his age and we ended up writing it all down. And what happened was now I can exactly articulate how I... what and that's where all these all these things like investing in relation capital life, enterprise, creating space, you know, and all those different things that we use, there's acronyms we use in the book. And now my power is even more because I have that basis of articulation. So our next book, we're writing through such conversations as this. So I'm gonna listen to this and hear what I said differently than before. We're gonna add that to the book. Because every time you build a foundation, you build upon that you're unleashing more and you're on, you know, unlocking more knowledge. You're building upon what you already have. So it's gonna be humble off to or whatever. But it's not a book. Honestly, it's not a book, it's a guide. Every chapter is a story, the lesson from that story and the exact steps of what to do, not how to do it, of what to do to unleash your own personal alpha, unleash your own personal humble alpha, whatever it is that you want to want to, at least whatever you have inside of you. And remember the humble on the outside, the alpha is on the inside, right? So that's why it's a humble after your humble on the outside, Alfa on the inside, and you have this presence that's amplified through your purpose and people just magnetized you, You know how it is. Someone walks into a room, your back's turned, you feel them come in, right? Yeah. That's that's sort of what I'm talking about. It's an undeniable presence. It's called, we call it owning your presence. I've been man, my mind is exploding. You know, I've walked into rooms before where they've, they've hired me to travel across the pond to give her to deliver a keynote on marketing. And I walk into the room and I go, there are people in this room that are depressed and wondering why they still exist and I changed my keynote on the spot. Yeah. And then afterwards the leaders of this, whoever put the event together, they'd be like, whoa, you hit the nail on the head and and you worry for a minute because you're like, well they hired me to speak about marketing, but I just gave them a mental health, culture leadership. You deserve to be here. We need you. We love you kind of a conversation and the leaders go, you hit the nail on the head. That's exactly why. You know, and it's because I sensed when I came into the room and you weren't preconceived again, you walk. Like I said, that's why it's so important to create that space when you walk into any room, whether it's a keynote or just us two here on the podcast or with your wife even. I mean like the hardest thing that I've ever done as far as creating space was doing it with my wife and we had an argument, right? Because I cannot dictate in any way her responses. I don't I don't want to manipulate or say you did this or blame or something. So having to talk to my wife like I talked to all my clients, right? It was really difficult, but I let go of thinking that it was difficult and I created space and we had the most amazing conversation that we've ever had in 13 years and the whole time I was blocking my my, you know, my own way with my own wife and we're so tight now because of that. She understands me so much better because of that. You know, it's like this creating space. We call it that I don't know. It could be called something else. You know, I don't know. But that's what we call it, creating space. You just have no expectations, man, You show up holding fully and see what creates gets created from the power of the both of you or the group of you or whatever and you know, speech is perfect. Me too. I walk up there. I got like bullet points. I may or may not use them. Yeah. You know the only keynote I ever did that, they said you have to speak about this. It was horrible. You know, it was like I was on, I had like flash cards. It was horrible. But I added my own sort of twist to it. I saved it at the end. Yeah, I'm the same way. Oh you need, you need a slide deck. Oh no, I can't do a slide deck man. I just gotta roll um is creating space. Let me ask you this. So you walk into an organization. I mean there's leaders listening to this podcast, salespeople, all different departments in inside of a business and they're listening to this and they go, well what's the starting...

...point? Because we always hear its leadership sets the weather, right? Um when you walk into an organization and they need help with this is creating space where you start people off. No it's not. You know when when you walk into so creating space, all these things, we're talking about, his culture, culture has a long ramp stage, right? And then you can talk about structural change, structural change can be literally structural, physical, or it can be like, okay you're working here instead of there now and now these are the new S. O PS, right? So you I always start with structural change because that will give a clear indication everybody, oh something happened. So that's sort of like a knock on their subconscious saying, okay, something's changing, then they're more open for the culture change than they would be. If I just walk in and start saying let's create space because like what the hell just get talking about right, so I'll go in, I'll literally go in and where the bosses are sitting and the staff is sitting, I'll switch them up and I'll clear this before and like if I'm gonna do this for you guys, you guys let me do what I want to do, anything goes, I'm like okay do it and then I'll have them like flip the desk around so they're facing each other, sitting beside someone, they don't know, painting office, clean the office so that when you come in there was like I don't remember where I sit, this is all different. Yeah exactly so it's sort of like a disruption just like you wouldn't and facebook ad right right, you know disrupt disrupt them, disrupt their everyday. Then you go in and we gotta look at this, it all starts with the leaders. So the first thing I do is talk to the leaders and we have a deep discussion and we go through the activate and unleashed stages of the humble Alpha. This book, by the way, our book only Trouble Alpha is used by coach is literally the book like there's no handouts or not literally they take the book and they read out of the book with their clients. Number one, number two, it's recently been turned into a uh, leadership certificate program out of college and now I can't say who but a leading M. B. A. In America just picked it up as for the curriculum further courses and another two leading universities in the United States are picking it up and in the UK there picking it up as a part of their curriculum for credit hours in business programming. That's how powerful this book is. And there's it's all about the person, how do I get to myself? My best version of myself as a leader were leaders 24 7 man. We don't have weekends off, you know? And the litmus test is this I always say the leaders, hey when you go home and one of your employees were on the dining room table as a fly on the wall, would they recognize you? Are you the same person and vice versa? If your wife comes into the office or your husband, are they gonna recognize you? And most of them like no, you know you're talking about balance at the beginning of the show, right? It's about integration brother. It's not, you know, like you said balance doesn't exist. It's about integration. You're not too, but you can't balance your working life because you're not too different people. You gotta integrate everything right? So how do you how do you integrate your time for your family, how to integrate for your time for time for your staff to get them to the point where you are. So you start with yourself. You align yourself, activate unleash and empower. Then you go out into the same thing with your staff, align the mission and the vision of themselves with the mission and the vision and the purpose of the company. And you have a team that will crush the competition without even worrying about how much money we make and the outcome. You know how are we gonna get there Because we know that through the certainty and the procedures that we have in place that the outcome will be favorable period. Unreal. How we do it Unreal. You know I love this. It resonates so deeply with me. Um It's it's the path that I've chosen as a leader. I've had people and this is their words, not mine, but I've had people come to me. I remember we were on kind of a intercompany retreat. We have the kind of a partner's retreat. And so they brought their employees, I brought my employees, you know, we all got together, we're having brainstorm sessions, all this kind of fun stuff. But in the evenings obviously I didn't have to stay in the Airbnb. I live here. So I go back home. I remember that the last day one of the leaders of the other companies pulled me aside and he said how did you do it? I said how do I do what after you left my team went out drinking and partying and this and that. Your team. He said I'm not gonna lie. They went to the liquor store, they picked up some beers. It's their own time. That's fine, he said, But when I asked them why they...

...chose to do that over go and get drunk and do that and all this kind of stuff and act like fools. one of them says I would lay down on train tracks for Michael. Uh huh. So he said, how did you do that? And so for everybody listening, you need to get a copy of the humble Alpha if you want to learn the secret to how this all works. I just met Stephen a month ago, month and a bit ago. I have not read the book, but everything that he's saying resonates so deeply that I am going to be buying a book, not just for me, but for everybody on my team, I want you to get a copy of this because if you're wondering, I get asked this all the time, how do you create such loyal people? How do you have people so bought in? How do we create that level of buying? Well, just speaking to you man, I know that they need to get a copy of the book. So let me ask you, where do they get this book? They can go to humble Alpha book dot com and just download a free excerpt or buy it right there from that site on on audible on kindle or paperback. Amazing man, it's all right there. How can those listening get in touch with you? Um you know, I'm on facebook, um Unleash ramble Alpha, you google that you'll find me somewhere. Um you know, if there's someone that actually wants to contact me for the humble Alpha program for leaders that are pivoting. Um just my email address is Stephen with the Eugene coon at gmail dot com. Pretty simple actually. My whole name steven Eugene coming at gmail dot com. If you google my name, you'll find the right spelling. What does that mean? It will also link to all of that in the show notes over at triple W dot the dealer playbook dot com forward slash Stephen dash kun. K U H N. My man. Thanks so much for joining me on the dealer play with podcast. Great pleasure, my friend. Thank you for having me. I'm Michel Cirillo and you've been listening to the dealer playbook podcast. If you haven't yet, please click the subscribe button wherever you're listening right now, leave a rating or review and share it with a colleague. If you're ready to make big changes in your life and career and want to connect with positive nurturing automotive professionals, join my exclusive DPB Pro community on facebook. That's where we share information, ideas and content that isn't shared anywhere else. I can't wait to meet you there. Thanks for listening. Mm.

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